Sunday, September 28, 2008

Introducing the Walrus Candidate for President... Cecil and his running mate Barbie!

Hi, my name is Cecil and I am running for President of Crystal Beach. As you can tell from my hat, I am a maverick. Barbie is my highly capable running mate. In addition to cheering me on to campaign victory, Barbie is a fine sharpshooter. She can aim a hunting rifle without putting down her pom poms. She can shoot a moose, wolf or monkey without batting one of her pretty eyelashes. When I kick the bucket (because I am a little long in the tooth... ha ha!), Barbie will be wearing the maverick hat. With her vast leadership experience, I have faith that she can guide Crystal Beach through the good times and the bad.

The fine walrus citizens of Crystal Beach are eager to hear what Cecil can do for them. Cecil promises to introduce the clam farming industry to Crystal Beach so that no walrus will go hungry. He will pay for this by increasing the tax on bananas. Cecil plans to cut down all the trees in Live Oak Park and build a giant ice rink. This will provide the walruses with a place to cool down and escape the hot, humid Florida weather. From what they have heard so far, Cecil is the walrus candidate for change.


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I wonder what the population of walrusses to monkeys is in Crystal Beach? I dread clan warfare is on the horizon. Crystal Beach may yet see more senseless monkeycide and walrus murders may hit the crime statistics charts!

And Cecil? I would have thought something along the lines of 'Ca(i)nnibal' or 'Cainus'. Or 'Carson'...hah, hah!!

Carson

Big Monkey said...

Walrii don't believe in birth control so we'll see where the population numbers are in November.

There will be no clan warfare. What do you think we are... humans? We are better than that.

Cecil said...

Carson,

I have been around since 1990 when Laura rescued me from Sea World in Ohio. She came up with my name (probably after a few brews).

Anonymous said...

Hi Laura,

I'm beginning, now, to "get" you, and the more I do, the more I worry about your sanity, just as I worry about my own!

I laughed out loud at your "solid" walrus candidate and his running mate "Barbie." And I laughed out loud at the "real" (Manchurian) candidate "Quickdraw" and his running mate "Bubbles" until I realized that I may not be imagining all of this -- please tell me it may just be a Twilight-Zone-like dream, and I'll wake up soon to some sanity. Uh oh, I have awakened to an interview with "Bubbles" and Katie Couric. OMG!!! Maybe if I utter those famous words "Klaatu barada nikto" I can stop the bleeding!

s. Uncle Bill

fred said...

Barbie's HOT!!!!!!

Cecil said...

Fred,

I have a hard time concentrating with such a hot running mate... that skimpy cheerleader outfit and the gun too... Wait, I lost my train of thought. I think I forgot to take my Geritol this morning. If only I weren't such an old walrus...

big monkey said...

Uncle Bill,

Sanity is a relative term. Maybe we're the only normal ones.

Valerie said...

I had a big monkey when I was a child. I'd forgotten I never knew what happened to it. Where can I get another?

Big Monkey said...

Valerie,

Thanks for checking out my blog. Of course they broke the mold when they made me, but you can find plenty of other homemade sock monkeys on ebay. That's where a lot of my friends came from.

- Big Monkey