Saturday, November 29, 2008

Princess Monkitha Meets Officer Po Po

Here's our own British royalty, her highness Princess Monkitha. She's going out for a bit of shopping in her brand new purple Cadillac Escalade EXT. Our princess has many redeeming qualities such as beauty, style, grace and... good driving? NOT! What's wrong with this picture? Princess, you're not in Great Britain anymore. In America we drive on the right side of the road, not the left. Her designer pink purse is also getting in the way of good driving. Instead of placing both hands on the wheel, she prefers to steer with her tail! This is how she bloody rolls!

Uh oh! Princess Monkitha is in a bit of a spot now. Crystal Beach's Officer Po Po has pulled her over.

Po Po: "Ma'am, are you aware that you're driving on the wrong side of the road?"
Princess: "I dare say Officer, I didn't have a clue. Please forgive me for being such a ninny."
Po Po: "Another thing you might want to consider is steering with both hands instead of your tail."
Princess: "Crikey! You must think I'm half pickled. I do apologize for driving like a cheeky monkey."
Po Po: "I have to issue you a citation for driving on the wrong side of the road though."
Princess: "Officer, can you please remove your sunglasses?"
Po Po: "Excuse me?"
Princess: "In my country, it's impolite to speak to a member of the royal family while concealing one's eyes."

Po Po: "Fine. " (He removes his shades.)
Princess: "Officer, you have the most brilliant eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?"
Po Po: "Princess, I need to finish writing this ticket out for you."

Princess: "You know I'm a fantastic cook. Would you like to stop over for supper? I can make you some bangers and mash, bubble and squeak, and spotted dick for dessert. Or perhaps there's some other dish you might fancy?"
Po Po: "I appreciate the offer, but my position prohibits me from accepting a dinner invitation. Here's your ticket. The fine is $100."

The Princess drives off in defeat, mumbling "That Officer Po Po... what a wanker!"


Anonymous said...

Hmmm, a very suspicious character, this Princess Monthika. Has Officer Po Po investigated any potential link between her and the unsolved monkicide in Crystal Beach?


officer po po said...

She has an alibi. She was having tea and scones with the queen.

fred said...

All in her purple Escalade and 20" dubs, what does she expect?! Po Po was just using his unique talent to profile.

officer po po said...

Thank you Fred. This princess needs to get off her high horse.