I hinted after Gunther's makeover fiasco that another candidate would soon be ambushed. Yep, you guessed it, I'm candidate/victim # 2. Here's my before picture. Look closely on the left side of the photo around my mouth. There are visible pills from years of wear and tear.
I trust my personal assistant Laura. She's an expert now with the shaver. I was a little concerned before we got started when she told me to rub some lotion on my face. When I resisted she said, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!" Yikes!
Now it's time to shave my red heeled booty.
"I think you missed a spot," I told Laura. Hey, this doesn't feel too bad!
Here's my after picture. Notice I spared you the before and after closeups of my booty shave. If you compare the area I referenced in my before picture to the after picture, you can see that my face is now smooth as a monkey's bottom. I think we can say that Ambush Makeover # 2 was a success! Thanks Laura!
I trust my personal assistant Laura. She's an expert now with the shaver. I was a little concerned before we got started when she told me to rub some lotion on my face. When I resisted she said, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!" Yikes!
Now it's time to shave my red heeled booty.
"I think you missed a spot," I told Laura. Hey, this doesn't feel too bad!
Here's my after picture. Notice I spared you the before and after closeups of my booty shave. If you compare the area I referenced in my before picture to the after picture, you can see that my face is now smooth as a monkey's bottom. I think we can say that Ambush Makeover # 2 was a success! Thanks Laura!
5 comments:
"It," Laura calls you? What is up? For a personal assistant, she seems a bit impersonal, wouldn't you say, BM?
It doesn't know its 'Silence of the Lambs', does it?
BM, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but for this next part, you need to ensure that you are sitting down. I realize that the concept of gender may be a bit confusing to you, seeing as how you appear to be missing certain parts. Let me break this to you gently. The whole 'red bottom' thing indicates a certain role in life. Think WNBA. Or Field Hockey. Cooking Channel. Think 'Donny and Marie'. Then take out Donny. Actually, maybe that isn't necessary. Anyway, are you getting the picture? When you are over your initial shock, check out wikipedia.
Don't shoot the messenger. You need to have a good, long conversation with Laura. She is letting you live a lie. While you are at it, ask her about Santa Claus.
Carson
Willis,
It's a quote from one of our favorite movies, "The Silence of the Lambs."
Carson,
There are anatomically correct male sock monkeys. Just Google "giant sock monkey" and you'll see what I mean. There's one named Mr. Johnson (pun IS intended). However, they are relegated to entertainment roles that Pee Wee Herman might view in some obscure seedy theater in Sarasota. I am mainstream. I do not show my goods to the outside world, but that doesn't mean that I don't have them. Hey, didn't you say that you wanted your children to see my blog? Do you want them seeing or reading a conversation about monkeys' monkeys? For SHAME!
It's a quote from one of our favorite movies, "The Silence of the Lambs."
I'm afraid to ask, but my curiosity is overwhelming.
Willis,
If you haven't seen The Silence of the Lambs, it's a classic. There are so many references to scenes from it in popular culture and the media. In fact, there was one on the Family Guy last Sunday. You're missing out!
Post a Comment