My Big Presentation at the Bank

My presence was requested as the keynote speaker at last Thursday's morning meeting at the bank. The focus of the meeting was customer service, and I was given a specific topic to cover. I can't reveal too much internal company information, but I will share my presentation board with key concepts illustrated. I wore my power suit and Chuck Taylor high tops, like all the big executives do, to make sure I was taken seriously.

To make my presentation more memorable, I came up with an acronym (A RED HEEL) for the list of items up for discussion. This phrase is easy for sock monkeys (and humans familiar with sock monkeys) to remember since we're made from red heeled socks.

I went through the topics by aiming my laser pointer at each item on my presentation board. I was told by Mark that all official presenters must use one of these tools. My pointer is actually in the shape of a mouse. It's used to drive the tuxedo cats at home crazy by moving it haphazardly across the floor, wall, etc. while the cats try to "catch" the elusive red dot.

My presentation was followed by much applause and appreciation by the bank employees. I think this will lead to my promotion to at least the V.P. level (Vice Primate). I'm not sure what compensation I will accept, but the offer must be in the six banana figure range.

Behind the Scenes of Big Monkey's House

If you've ever pondered what a sock monkey photo shoot might look like, wonder no more. Thanks to a second human photographing behind the scenes, now is your chance to see what it's all about.

This was from my photo shoot at the beach. Mr. Monkey and I were spotted sunbathing with the gals from the Today Show, Kathie Lee and Hoda, who are checking out our buff sock bods.

I have to include this shot, no matter how much it pains me. The photos you normally see as a finished product in my blog make everything look easy. However, the reality is that I sustain many falls, bumps and bruises in the process. The ugly truth is revealed below. She let me fall about 5 feet to the ground from the top of that sign and doesn't look too concerned about it. I bet she'd be more upset if her precious camera had dropped.

Sometimes I can't even have one moment of peace. I tried to chill out at our pier one day and enjoy a spectacular view of the water. There she is snapping away... sigh.
It's rather frightening to be constantly pursued by the stalkerazzi. I guess it's just the price of being a famous sock monkey.

Pictures from Vacations Past

Since I haven't traveled in a while, I decided to post some old photos from miscellaneous vacations past. Here I am with Socks, Little Big Monkey and some towel animal friends we met on a cruise in March 2004. We went to the Cayman Islands, Mexico and Belize. The sombreros and Mexican beer t-shirt I'm wearing were souvenirs for me and my little buddies. As you can see, we had a major fiesta consisting of Corona and exotic fruits.

June 2006 - Here I am in Key Largo at the Holiday Inn where the boat from the famous movie of the same name, "The African Queen" is docked.

December 2004 - I'm ready to get my drink on at the Flying Monkeys Saloon in Key West.

Laura and I posing in Times Square, NYC in October 2005. This was Laura's first trip to the Big Apple even though she grew up only 100 miles away.

July 2006 - Laura and I are hiking in Sedona, Arizona. She's sucking down some cool water from her bladder style back pack while I'm suffering from dehydration.

Ride 'Em, Cowboy Socks!

I was proud to present my little buddy Socks with a brand new stick horse and instructional flip book titled, "Giddy Up." Many years ago in his youth, Socks had a stick horse which was accidentally misplaced. He was thrilled to see his old buddy and ready to jump back in the saddle again!

Socks got a refresher course on riding his new stick horse by literally flipping through this book. The pages create an animation of a sock monkey riding his stick horse through the desert. He even winks at the viewer during his ride!

There he goes! It's just like riding a bike. One never forgets how to ride a stick horse. Simulation of the desert ride is accomplished by these strategically placed authentic red rocks from Sedona, Arizona.

Galloping past the red rocks, Socks can barely control his bucking bronco. Yee haw!

Snow Monkeys?

It may not be snowing (yet), but it is certainly cold enough. Did someone move our house up to Pennsylvania while we were sleeping? We've had low temperatures in the 20's and highs in the low 40's. Thanks to Karen, I am now able to venture outside without freezing my red heel in my new winter garb. Karen is learning how to knit, and I think she did a fantastic job on this scarf and hat!

If you look closely, you might see icicles hanging from my ears.

Karen made an extra hat, which I lent to Billy Ground Hog so we could go outside and play. BGH is already somewhat equipped for blustery weather in his snowman sweater.

The good news is that this 2 week long cold snap is coming to an end, for the time being. By the weekend, Crystal Beach will see high temperatures of 70 degrees. Hooray!

I've Been Warholized!

During the weeks before Christmas, Mark and I had secretly been working on a present for Laura. Now it's time for the big reveal... I've been Warholized! Mark used a program called Paint Shop Pro to create these Andy Warhol-like images of me. Then he sent the file to a company in California that printed it out on canvas.

She was so happy with her gift! Although Mark had complained that he "missed his deadline" to get it done in time for Christmas, it was well worth the wait.

Here's the actual file used to create this work of art. You can get a much better appreciation for how brilliant the colors are.

Knitted Sock Monkey Hat Contest

Laura's aunt and uncle sent us this awesome knitted sock monkey hat. The humans and the giant sock monkeys were all vying for a chance to wear it, especially since the low temperatures have dipped into the 30's here in Crystal Beach... brrr! This gave me an idea. Why not have a contest to see who my viewers think wears the sock monkey best? I'd like to introduce the first contestant, Laura. Please note that my appearance in this photo in no way implies an endorsement on my part.

Our second contestant is Mark. He grabbed the hat from Laura as soon as she unpacked the gift box. This monkey was on a mission to get warm and become a fashion icon simultaneously.

Simon thinks he rocks the hat better than anymonk.

His twin brother, Jarvis, strikes a pose.

Gunther matter-of-factly says that sock monkey hat looks best on his chrome dome.

Lock in your votes, folks. Tell me who you think is America's Next Top Sock Monkey Hat Model. Limit one vote per fan, please.

Favorite Stuff on my Fridge - Part 1

My Facebook pal, Harry, came up with a brilliant idea to take pictures of the interesting stuff on his refrigerator. I decided to follow his lead and do the same with mine. As you can see, my fridge is a conglomeration of miscellaneous items collected over the years.

I've included my 10 favorite photos here because I can only upload 5 per post. There are many more which I have posted on Facebook. If you haven't friended me yet, my name is Velike Ludorije.

Sitting atop the fridge - smoking shriner monkey and see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil monkey jars
Top - Bucky from the comic "Get Fuzzy." He reminds us of Karl in terms of his appearance and cattitude. Karl sits just like Bucky in this picture quite frequently.
Bottom - Hand sketch by Mark of sad monkey getting reverse mohawk haircut

Another work of art by Mark - spitting monkey gets lottery tickets and mini monkey riding bicycle

Karl (about 10 years ago) inside the fridge between the iceberg lettuce and the eggs. Yes, he did this all on his own while Laura was unloading groceries.

Favorite Stuff on My Fridge - Part 2

Monkey twins

Space chimp from NASA in Houston

Friendly shrimp from Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and monkey gift cards from Target and Walmart (depleted long ago)

Sock monkey magnets handmade by my friend, Noah

George Bush chimp thinking about bananas